Saturday, August 29, 2015

A Lack Of Inspiration

For the first time in a long time I've had such a lack of inspiration. Usually I have so many new things I want to share with you all and I can't wait to always be coming up with new ideas. 

This week was all too overwhelming possibly with my job, and maybe the thought of the upcoming transition into Fall and Winter is just coming so fast. I can't help but think that September is arriving and (although I am more excited than I should be about all of the pumpkin spice lattes I'll get to consume) I wish we could just skip that month and fast forward to October. 

September has been an extremely emotional month since 2005. It's a month filled with pain and sadness in my heart. Remembering how my grandmother was suffering from colon cancer, which also spread through her entire body causing her to pass away on the 29th of that month. It was the hardest experience I've ever endeavored. 

On the anniversary of her death, and every holiday, I visit her grave and design beautiful bouquets of flowers to surround her spirit. Sometimes I'll even sprinkle rose petals in the shape of a heart, because she loved them just as much as I do. You're probably wondering why I'm talking about her in such a deep way and why she means so much to me if she was just a grandmother. Well, to me she was my best friend, and the only mother figure I had in my life. She pretty much raised me since my father was always traveling for work and my mother was in no position to take care of a child much less herself... we won't go there though. 

She called me her little angel and was the most kind-hearted, happy woman you would have ever encountered. She would always put others before herself and made friends wherever she went. Literally. It could have been the car wash, the grocery store, or even at a restaurant. She passed away when I was in 8th grade, but she taught so so much about life in that short amount of time. Since my parents had me as such an old age, both of their parents had passed away except for my granny (my dad's mother), so she was the only person I had really, considering I was an only child. 

The memories always seem to come back to me stronger and more vividly toward the month of September, and some days it really hits me hard. It's nice to be able to talk about it rather than let it build up and not give Metallic Pearl any attention. I wouldn't want to leave you hanging. I already feel better after writing this post. Next week is going to be just as crazy but I will get out of my funk and be back to normal posting on Monday. Look forward to a second edition of Caffeine with Christine tomorrow and we can do a weekly round up featuring my favorite coffee cup and some exciting upcoming travel plans. Have a wonderful night. xoxo -Christine

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